HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY YA’LL! A day a whole BUNCH of folks wear green, drink beer, and . . . probably yak in a random shoe. These are KNOWN facts. But . . . there are a few things about this Irish holiday I bet ya'll probably weren't even aware of . . .

-If ya'll plan to celebrate by drinkin' green beer, wear green pants. Trust me on this. I recommend some, like . . . deep, dark forest green.

-It's the most popular day for the Irish to drink. The second most popular . . . is the rest of 'em.

-People who celebrate it by drinkin' responsibly are called "not me."

-Saint Patrick is considered
Ireland's greatest figure. Unless you ask Bono. Then . . . it's Bono.

-Evidently, Saint Patrick was the only person in history who "chased more snakes" than Lindsay Lohan.

-It's not just a day for drinkin'. It's also a day for cryin', singin' woefully off-key . . . maybe even disowning relatives. Or, as I call it . . . Monday.

-Saint Patrick was actually the patron saint of regretting stuff the next morning. (Think I read that on the Internet. Or, um . . . maybe in that new Batman comic book I just picked up. Can't remember. Either way.)